Grief | Wellness

Crazy little thing called Grief

I have deliberated whether or not to post this piece as I wasn’t sure if I needed to share it or whether this was the right place.  However, in the vain that this blog is about personal development and helping others at certain times in their lives – I felt it was appropriate.

This post has been inspired by 2 woman in my life that I lost in one weekend in January. Non-related to one another but both tragic occurrences in their own rights. Both far too young and both a devastating loss to all who knew them and any one they came in to contact with. I won’t divulge any further but I’m sure we can all relate to losing someone. I can’t get my head around the fact that a few hours ago they were here and then so suddenly gone. The human life is so fragile and so precious and it’s unfortunate that it takes moments like these to highlight this.

I’ve been numb all week. A feeling of agitation and unrest. Unfocused. I’ve been constantly thinking over about the moments I shared with these two women and what they gave to me. I often felt selfish when I cried – after all I’m still here – but I wept for the loss of their families, close ones and what they had yet to experience. Although both women had made a great impression on everyone who knew them. They leave a legacy to themselves behind and it is with laughter and love that I remember them.

The grieving process is important for us as beings. We all have different ways of dealing with it but it is important to acknowledge what has happened. Keeping busy helps some but when you feel like you can’t hold it together much longer its ok to lose your shit. Please remember this. You are not weak if you cry, or selfish or self-indulgent. You are hurting. You have pain – deep, deep inside – and crying is part of this healing process.

Feeling distracted or uninterested is normal too. You may feel a sense of disconnect, un-enthusiasm, demotivation – this is all ok. Just be aware of what you are feeling and allow your mind and body to do what they need to. They are both stronger than you think and will take you down the right course for you through these difficult times. It won’t last forever. Yes you may not fully heal from losing that person but you will feel stronger. Be patient. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself Time.

Likewise be sensitive to others if you sense they aren’t acting quite as usual. Whether they are a friend, colleague or a stranger opposite you on a train. Be kind. You never know what people are dealing with.

Please don’t let experiences like this make you shy away from doing stuff in fear of something happening to you. Instead allow it to inspire you to do the things you’ve always talked about.  Make time for friends – stop the excuses – swallow your fears – be determined – dream big.

Above all, do not live with regret. Life is full of these moments and we can’t have a future like that. We make a choice in a moment in time, based on the emotions we are feeling at that time and the resources we have at that time. So we can never regret or rethink a decision. All I’m saying – is say yes more – don’t always believe that there is a tomorrow. Life is now – so live it.

I don’t mean for this post to sound morbid or dooming at all. In fact it should be the opposite. That you have a new perspective on life and it gives you the motivation to make the changes you’ve always wanted to do.

Loss and grief is all part of the cycle of life.

To absent friends.


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